THE MODERN 
MOTHER GOOSE 

A PLAY IN THREE ACTS 



HELEN HAMILTON 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

First produced at 

Cohan s Grand Opera House 

APRIL 27, 1916 

for the 

DAILY NEWS FRESH AIR FUND SANATARIUM 



THE MODERN 
MOTHER GOOSE 

A PLAY IN THREE ACTS 

By 
HELEN HAMILTON 



Being the first of a series 01 dramas ig 
Young People 



Produced under the auspices of the 

EDUCATIONAL DRAMATIC LEAGUE 

CHICAGO CHAPTER 



RAND McNALLY & COMPANY 
CHICAGO 



Copyright, 1916 









By Rand McNally & Company 



TMP96-G07047 




• 



>CI.D 44375 
MAY 15 1916 



^Vix*. I 



To 
HARRIET ANN BOGARDUS 

Dramatic Director 

and the 

CHICAGO CHILDREN'S PLAYERS 

through whose pleasant association in rehearsals 

"THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE" 

was first produced 

this book is affectionately dedicated 



THE COSTUMES 

In general, the costumes of the play of "The 
Modern Mother Goose" should follow the 
''period of 1776," — that picturesque period of 
powdered hair and of beauty patches, of volu- 
minous petticoats, high-heeled slippers, and 
silken panniers. 

For no less attractive than these habiliments 
of royalty were the clothes of humbler folk: — ■ 
the loose frock of the peasant, the linsey woolsey 
of the villager, — the black bodice, the quaint 
cap, the home-spun smock, and the white kertle 
of the dairy maid or the shepherd lad. 

That was an age when Little folk as well as 
Big folk, prince as well as peasant, each told 
by his dress and his adornment his station in 
life, — his vocation, — his recreation. 

Hence each character should be so differen- 
tiated in the play as to be immediately recog- 
nizable, — Tom should have his pig, Peter his 
bagpipe, the Bachelor his barrow — and Bo-peep 
her famous crook. 

The pictures are for suggestions rather than 
copies. The whole play can easily be costumed 
and acted by amateurs, under the guidance of 
any earnest director with a love for Mother 
Goose and her Children in her heart. 

Photographs and notes made from the Chicago 
production, also the music for the songs, may be 
had of Rand McNally .& Company, Chicago, 
publishers. 



SYNOPSIS OF PLOT 

Mother Goose, to save the children of the 
Old Lady who lived in the Shoe from going 
supperless to bed, tucked them away in the 
nice soft down of her Gander, on whom she 
was accustomed to fly through the sky. -And 
she flew with them right up to the moon, 
where Mistress Mary, every evening, gave a 
party in her garden. All the fairies of Fairyland 
came to the party, and brought with them 
whole troops of good little earth-children whose 
nurses thought them fast asleep in their own 
downy cots. And they danced, and played, as 
only fairies and children can. And oh! what a 
luscious supper they had at that party! with 
butter cakes, — and barley cakes, — and hot 
cross buns; with custards, and tarts, and plum 
cakes, and honey, — and strawberries, sugar, 
and cream. 

All too soon the bells of London town sounded 
the midnight hour, and the children started on 
the journey back to earth in charge of Mistress 
Mary and Marjorie Daw, who were instructed 
not to let them fall, but to take them carefully 
down the moonbeam ladder, and tuck them 
again in their own warm beds. 

11 



12 SYNOPSIS OF PLOT 

But the Old Lady in the Shoe had discovered 
her loss and she persuaded the Giant, whom 
Jack had not yet killed, to capture her children 
on their way down. The maidens were dis- 
consolate. Mother Goose called upon all the 
kings in Gooseland to restore the lost children. 
Then forth they marched, and brought the 
Giant back in chains. But still he would not 
surrender the keys to the dungeon, for his 
heart was hard. He mumbled his "fe, fi, fo, 
fum," and rattled his keys, until even the 
residents of Gooseland trembled for their own 
safety. 

Then entered Old King Cole in state and 
majesty. ''Where are the children?" he asked. 
The whole story was told to him. He bade 
his fiddlers play their sweetest music. The 
heart of the Giant was melted. He unlocked 
the door, and out trooped the children, none 
the worse off for their night in the dungeon. 
As a reward, the fiddlers were knighted by the 
king, and the wedding bells rang out in Goose- 
land when Old King Cole married Mistress 
Mary, and made the Giant Lord High Chamber- 
lain of the kingdom. 



Characters in 

THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

in the order of their appearance 

The Prologue 
Little Miss Muffet Clare Vaughan Wales 



Peter, the Piper 



Mildred Arnold 



Act I 



Old Mother Goose . Rachael James 

Mistress Mary . . . Ethel Levy 
Marjorie Daw . . . Anna Spahn 
The Little Dame on the White Hen 

Charline O'Shaughnessy 
Vernon Carlstrand 
Bernice Carlstrand 
Rosemary Green . . Charlotte Headen 
Lavender Blue . Florence O'Shaughnessy 
Tom, Tom . . Herbert Amo Ingraham 
Johnny on the Cock-Horse Jack Byfield 



The Babes in the Wood - 



Elizabeth \ Four 
Elsbeth ( Maids 
Betsy I of 

Bess ) Perth 

Betty Baker 
The Boy in the Lane 
Baa Baa, Black Sheep 



Gertrude McKinley 

Frances Scudder 

Mildred Henkel 

Marion Birmingham 

Ruth Towle 

. Dorothy Kniss 

Sybella Heileman 



13 



14 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 



Daffy Down Dilly 

Jack Horner 

Little Johnny Green 

Goldy Locks 

Big Tom Stout 

Little Miss Etticoat 

Tommy Snooks 

Bessie Brooks 

Jockey on Dapple Grey 

Simple Simon 

Wee Willie Winkie 

Little Tommie Tittlemouse 



Marjorie Bowden 

Dorothy Pfeiffer 

Frances Cassidy 

. Florence Boam 

Rosalie Budinger 

Katherine Shannon 

Evelyn Cassidy 

Dorothy Wallace 

. Charles Currie 

G. Warren Slater 

Weslie Raubolt 

William Jordan 



Jack and Jill 



Little Polly Flinders Elizabeth Thomas 
Little Jumping Joan Vartanoush Magarian 

Walter Raubolt 

Dorothy Brown 

Geraldine Swinton 

Katherine Bernice Slater 

William Raubolt 

Mary Louise Wynekoop 

Rose Byfield 



Little Betty Blue 
Curly Locks 
Jack-be-Nimble 
Betty the Lady 
Jack-a-Dandy 
Little Tommy Tucker 
Peter, Peter's Wife 
The Bachelor 
The Bachelor's Wife 
Fiddle-de-dee 
Burnie Bee 
Old Witch . 



Ray Currie 

Martha McKellops 

. Nathan Fuller 

Virginia Jurs 

Harriet Jones 

Catherine Wynekoop 

Dorothy Sloan 



The Giant 



CHARACTERS 



15 



Act II, Scene 1 
The Harlequin . . William Maurer 

The Four Knaves 
Hearts . . . Gwendolyn Daniels 

Spades .... Mildred Rhynes 

Diamonds .... Lucile Nichols 
Clubs ..... Lucile Fisher 

The Four Queens 
Hearts . . . Dorothy Jones 

Spades .... Frances Klassen 

Diamonds .... Bonnie Kniss 
Clubs . . . Margarette Myers 

The Four Kings 
Hearts . . . Walker Wynekoop 

Spades .... Daniel Delaney 

Diamonds . . . William Jamison 
Clubs . • . . Wolcott Andrews 



The Wise Man 

The Butcher 

The Baker . 

The Candlestick Maker 

Captain Jinks 



Lawrence Jamison 

Carl Bertram 

Ferdinand Fuller 

. Earl Wynekoop 

James Griffin 



The Soldiers of the King 
Patrol of the Boy Scouts 



16 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

Act II, Scene 2 

Little Bo-peep . . Beatrice Stibgen 
Boy Blue .... Katie Griffin 
"The Maids are in the Garden" 
"There are Bessie Bell and Mary Grey, 
Dolly Dimple and Jane-O'Day." 
Jessie Tyrrell Alice Boor 

Katherine Volz Bernice Rafferty 

The Courtiers of Old King Cole 

The Chancellor . . . Jane Newbre 
The Secretary . . Bessie O'Brien 

The Lord of High Finance Gladys Bezazian 
The Admiral . . Gertrude Cassidy 
"Four and Twenty Blackbirds" . 

Naomi Becktel 
Sweet Columbine . . Mary Burton 

Pretty Maid . . . Elizabeth Jamison 
Bonnie Prince Charlie Rosamond Polachek 
The Herald . . LeVere Weideling 

ACT III 

Old King Cole . . William Delaney 

/ Carl Bertram 

The Fiddlers Three . Frederick Fuller 

( Earle Wynekoop 



PROLOGUE TO PLAY 

[To be recited before the raising of the curtain] 

Once upon a time, — long, long, ago, — there 
was an old lady named Mother Goose. You 've 
all heard of Mother Goose, haven't you, 
dears? 

In Gooseland she lived, — a queer country 
close by the sea, — where wishes were horses, 
and beggars might ride; — where every Jack 
had his Jill, and where — most marvelous of 
all — every day a wonderful goose laid a 
wonderful golden egg. You 've all heard of 
the goose that laid the golden egg, have n't 
you, dears? 

That was during the Golden Age in Goose- 
land; — for up to that time no one had ever 
heard of witches, or goblins, nor of the Terrible 
Giant who lived in the land where the beanstalk 
grew. So in Gooseland every one was happy. 
Pearl necklaces hung up on trees, and the 
children played without fear. 

But one day, when Mistress Mary was giving 
a party in her beautiful garden upon the moon, 
the Giant came and stole away the children, 
and locked them up in his dungeon; and all 
the people of Gooseland, — the Queen of Hearts, 
and Humpty Dumpty, and Simple Simon, — 
even the four and twenty Blackbirds, — all 
joined in the search for the little lost children. 
You all would like to hear this new story about 
Mother Goose's children, would n't you, dears? 

18 



THE 

MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

ACT I 

Scene — Mistress Mary's Garden on the Moon. 

On the stage are Mother Goose, who has just arrived 
on her Gander bringing with her the Children of the Old 
Lady who lived in the Shoe, and Mistress Mary, stand- 
ing ready to welcome her guests, who arrive in the order 
named. 

Mistress Mary: 
Goosey Goosey Gander, 
Whither wouldst thou wander? 
Up stairs, down stairs, 
In my lady's chamber. 

Mother Goose: 
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe, 
She had so many children she did n't know 

what to do. 
Sometimes they had broth, sometimes they 

had bread, 
But to-night she sent them all hungry to bed. 
So I tucked them all under my feathers 

instead 
And up to the moon in a jiffy we sped. 

Marjorie Daw: 

Mistress Mary, quite contrary, 
How does your garden grow? 

19 



20 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

Mistress Mary: 
With silver bells and cockle shells 
And pretty maids all in a row. 

The Little Dame on the White Hen: 
In London town I paid a crown 
To buy my little white hen, 
Trot! trot! he came, to bring his dame; 
And we '11 trot, trot home again. 

Mistress Mary: 
We are very glad to welcome you, 
Rosemary Green and Lavender Blue. 

The Babes in the Wood: 
We're the Babes in the Wood. 
We 've been very good. 

Rosemary and Lavender: 
See Saw, Marjorie Daw 
She counted her chickens one by one. 

Tom, Tom: 
I 've brought a pig to dance a jig; 
I 'm Tom, Tom the Piper's son. 

Chorus: 
Tom, Tom the Piper's son 
Stole a pig and away he run. 
The pig was eat and Tom was beat, 
And Tom went running down the street. 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 21 

Johnny on the Cock-Horse: 
I rode my cock-horse from Banbury Cross 
To see an old lady upon a white horse. 
Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, 
And so she makes music wherever she goes. 

Four / Elizabeth 

Maids \ Elsbeth 

of ) Betsy 

Perth \Bess 
As we were all coming a long-long-long, 
We were singing a wonderful song-song-song; 
Girls and boys, come out and play, 
The moon doth shine as bright as day. 
Come with a whoop, and come with a call, 
Come with a good will, or not at all. 
Then up the ladder and down the wall, 
For we knew Mother Goose would welcome 
us all! 

Marjorie Daw: 
Elizabeth, Elsbeth, Betsey, and Bess, 
Which one was which, you never could guess. 
They built London Bridge, for they thought 

it a sin 
That all who crossed over should also fall in. 

Betty Baker: 
Hippity, Hoppity! my Black Hen, 
She lays eggs for gentlemen. 



22 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

Gentlemen come every day 

To see the eggs my hen doth lay. 

The Boy in the Lane: 
I'm the boy in the lane who could n't speak 

plain. 
He cried, "Gobble! Gobble! Gobble!" 
I met a man on the hill who could n't stand 

still. 
He went Hobble! Hobble! Hobble! 

Baa Baa, Black Sheep: 
Baa Baa, Black Sheep, 
Have you any wool? 
Yes, sir, yes, sir, 
Three bags full. 
One for my master, 
One for my dame, 
And one for the little boy 
Who lives in the lane. 

Daffy Down Dilly: 

I'm Daffy Down Dilly. I feel very silly 
Eating Jack Horner's pie. 

Jack Horner: 

I stuck in my thumb and pulled out a plum, 
And said, "What a brave boy am I!" 

All (in chorus): 

Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong Bell. 

[Enter Little Johnny Green] 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 23 

Goldy Locks: 
Puss is in the well. 

All (in chorus): 
Who put her in? 

Goldy Locks: 
Little Johnny Green. 

All (in chorus): 
Shame! shame! shame! for that! 
To try to drown poor pussy cat. 

Goldy Locks: 
Who pulled her out? 

Tom Stout: 
I pulled her out. 

All (in chorus): 
He pulled her out. 

Tom Stout: 
I 'm Tom Stout. 

Mistress Mary: 
Little Miss Etticoat 
In a white petticoat, 
Where is your beau? 

Little Miss Etticoat: 
Bobby Shaftoe's gone to sea, 
Silver buckles on his knee. 
He'll come back and marry me, 
Pretty Bobby Shaftoe. 



24 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

Tommy Snooks and Bessie Brooks: 
As Tommy Snooks and Bessie Brooks 
Were walking out together, 
Said Tommy Snooks to Bessie Brooks, 
''How do you like the weather?" 

Jockey on Dapple Grey: 

I had a little pony — his name was Dapple 

Grey; 
I lent him to a lady to ride a mile away: 
She shipped him, she lashed him, 
She drove him through the mire. 
I would not lend my pony now 
For all that lady's hire. 

Rosemary Green: 

On St. Paul's steeple stands a tree 

As full of plums as a tree can be. 
Lavender Blue: 

And apples grow upon the hedge 

From St. Paul's down to London Bridge. 
Simple Simon: 

Simple Simon met a pieman 

Going to the fair. 

Said Simple Simon to the pieman, 

''Let me taste your ware." 

Said the pieman unto Simon, 

"Give me first your penny." 

Said Simple Simon to the pieman, 

"Indeed I haven't any." 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 25 

Song and Game 

London Bridge is broken down — broken 

down — broken down, 
London Bridge is broken down, my fair lady. 

How shall we build it up again, up again, 

up again? 
How shall we build it up again, my fair lady? 

Wood and clay will wash away — wash away 

— wash away, 
Wood and clay will wash away, my fair lady. 

Build it up with stone so strong — stone so 

strong — stone so strong! 
Build it up with stone so strong, my fair lady. 

It will last for ages long — ages long — ages 

long, 
It will last for ages long, my fair lady. 

Chorus: 
Cackle! Cackle! Mother Goose, 
Have you any feathers loose? 

Mother Goose: 

Truly have I, little fellow, 

Half enough to fill a pillow. 

Here are quills — pray have a rack full; 

Just one feather makes a sack full. 



26 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

Goslings: 
One to make ready, 
Two to prepare, 
Three for a starter, 
Jump if you dare. 

Chorus: 
How do you. do! How do you do! 
And how do you do! — again. 

Wee Willie Winkie: 
Wee Willie Winkie 
Says 'tis ten o'clock. 

Tommie Tittlemouse: 
Then little Tommie Tittlemouse 
Must go and turn the lock. 

Polly Flinders: 
Little Polly Flinders 
Must sit among the cinders 
To warm her ten little toes. 

Jumping Joan: 
Here am I, Little Jumping Joan. 
When nobody's with me, I 'm always alone. 

Jack and Jill: 
Jack and Jill went up the hill 
To fetch a pail of water. 
Jack fell down and broke his crown, 
And Jill came tumbling after. 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 27 

Betty Blue: 

Little Betty Blue 
Lost her holiday shoe. 
What shall little Betty do? 

Mistress Mary: 
Curly Locks! Curly Locks! Where have 
you been? 

Curly Locks: 
Gathering roses to give to the queen. 

Jack-be-Nimble: 

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick — 
Jack jump over the candlestick. 

Betty the Lady: 

Betty's a lady, and wears a gold ring. 
And Johnny's a drummer and drums for 
the king. 

Jack-a-dandy: 

Handy Pandy, Jack-a-dandy, 
Loves plum-cake and sugar candy. 

Tommy Tucker: 

Little Tommy Tucker, 

Is singing for his supper, 

But we can't find any knife. 
Mother Goose: 

I'll call for Peter 

The great Pumpkin Eater, 

And he will bring his wife. 



28 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

Peter Peter's Wife: 
Peter Peter, Pumpkin Eater, 
Had a wife and couldn't keep her. 
Put her in a pumpkin shell 
And there he kept her very well. 

The Bachelor: 
When I was a bachelor 
I lived by myself, 

And all the bread and cheese I got 
I put upon the shelf. 
But the rats and the mice 
Did lead me such a life, 
I was forced to go to London 
To buy myself a wife. 

The Bachelor's Wife: 
The roads were so wide 
And the lanes were so narrow, 
He was forced to bring his wife home 
On a wheelbarrow. 
The wheelbarrow broke, 
And I got a fall, 
For down tumbled wheelbarrow, 
Little wife, and all. 

Marjorie Daw: 
Polly put the kettle on, 
Polly put the kettle on, 
Polly put the kettle on, 
And we '11 all take tea. 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 29 

Daffy Down Dilly: 
P is a pudding stuck full of plums, 
Q is for quartering! See, here it comes! 

Mistress Mary and Marjorie Daw: 
You shall have an apple! You shall have a 

plum! 
You shall have some ginger cake 
As big as mother's thumb. 
You shall have a cherry. 
You shall have a tart. 

And you shall have some bread and cheese — 
And then we '11 all depart. 

Mother Goose: 

One away ! Two away ! 

Ever must I roam. 

At the midnight hour the children 

Must all be safely home. 
Mistress Mary: 

Whither, oh, whither! oh, whither so high? 
Mother Goose: 

To sweep the cobwebs out of the sky. 

I '11 come back to you by and by. 
[Mother Goose disappears — Giant and Old Witch peek 

through dungeon door at children] 

Mistress Mary and Marjorie Daw dance and sing: 
Hey diddle diddle, 
The cat and the fiddle, 
The cow jumped over the moon. 



30 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

The little dog laughed 

To see such sport, 

While the dish ran away with the spoon. 

Fiddle-de-dee: 
Just one more game before we go. 

Chorus: 
Before we go. Before we go. 

Song and Game — "Here we go round the 
Mulberry Bush." 

Giant: 
What 's the hour? What 's the hour? 
What 's the hour of night? 

Mistress Mary: 
The bells of London town strike twelve. 

Marjorie Daw: 
Then put out the light. 

Old Witch: 
Oh, Burnie Bee, I see, I see, 
Fiddle-de-dee, Fiddle-de-dee. 

Burnie Bee: 
Hark! Hark! The dogs do bark; 
The beggars are coming to town. 

Fiddle-de-dee: 

It's twelve o'clock! 
Hear the witches knock, 
How shall we all get down? 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 31 

Witch: 

Here comes a candle to light you to bed, 
And here's a soft pillow for each sleepyhead. 

[Witch, pretending kindness, puts pillow under each 
sleepyhead's head] 

Mistress Mary: 

Hinx! Minx! the Old Witch winks! 
We can't get away if we try. 

Marjorie Daw: 
She's in league with the Giant, 
And this is his cell — 
He '11 put us in the dungeon to die. 

Rosemary Green: 
They're going to catch us — 
Run; boys, run! 

Lavender Blue: 
Will nobody help us? 
Run; girls, run! 

Giant: 
Fe! Fi! Fo! Fum! 
Come with me, and 
I '11 take you home. 

[The Giant gently draws the tiniest children into the 
dungeon, the others grouping themselves around 
Mistress Mary and Marjorie Daw, on each side of 
the stage] 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 33 

ACT II, Scene 1 

Synopsis — Mistress Mary and Marjorie Daw tell 
Mother Goose of the loss of the children. She 
summons the Four Kings of Gooseland, with their 
armies "of twenty thousand men," to restore them. 
The soldiers make merry before their departure on the 
perilous enterprise and join with the maidens in the 
dance of Captain Jinks. 

Scene — The Royal Hall of Gooseland. 

On the stage are Mother Goose in the center, 
Mistress Mary and Marjorie Daw kneeling in 
contrition before her. Jack, the famed harlequin, 
curled up at her feet. 

Mother Goose: 

What's the news of the day, good neighbors, 
I pray? 
Mary and Marjorie: 

Oh, dear, all the children were stolen away. 
Mother Goose: 

What's that that ye tell? 

I bade ye watch well! 
Mary and Marjorie: 

Oh, the Giant has locked them all up in 
his cell! 
Mother Goose: 

Call the Three Wise Men of Gotham 

And bid them storm the fort — 

The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick 
Maker, 



34 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

[Enter Butcher, Baker, and Candlestick Maker] 

The royal kings of court. 

Let each of them summon an army 

Of twenty thousand men, 

And he shall be king of Gooseland 

Who can bring them home again. 

[Enter Knave, King, and Queen of Hearts] 
Knave of Hearts: 

The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts 

All on a summer's day. 

The children's hearts were set on tarts, 

But now they're stolen away. 
Mary and Marjorie: 

Away! Away! Away! 

[Enter Knave, King, and Queen of Spades] 
Knave of Spades: 

The King of Spades, he sought those maids 

But now he 's vexed full sore — 

The Giant's wife pulled out a knife 

And sent him from the door. 
Mary and Marjorie: 

Me thinks I hear him roar — roar — roar. 
[Enter Knave, King, and Queen of Clubs] 
Knave of Clubs: 

The King of Clubs, his hands he rubs, 

And threatens he '11 surround 

The Giant's den with all his men 

And raze it to the ground. 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 35 

Mary and Marjorie: 
Oh, what a fearful sound — sound — sound! 
[Enter Knave, King, and Queen of Diamonds] 

Knave of Diamonds: 
And Diamond's queen, in velvet sheen, 
Pledges her royal crown 
To slave or knight who'll lead the fight 
And bring the culprit down. 

Mary and Marjorie: 
Oh, would that he could drown — drown — 
drown ! 

Mother Goose: 
Now over the hills and far away, 
Go! Search for the children all the day. 

The Wise Man: 
My lords, 'twere best we first take note 
What strength and numbers each can furnish. 

Harlequin: 
Well said, Old Wiseacre, 
And here are the hosts of the King's Armee. 
[Soldiers march on, singing or reciting chorus] 

Chorus of Soldiers: 
We 're the soldiers of the king, 
He has twenty thousand men, 
And he marched them up the hill 
And he marched them down again. 



36 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

Butcher: 
In me ye see the Butcher Big of the King's 

Armee. 
I '11 furnish the meat for the men to eat 
As they march on land or sail the sea. 

Baker: 

I '11 furnish the bread, for I 'm the head 
Of the Flying Squad of the King's Armee. 

Candlestick Maker: 
And the candles tall that stand on the wall 
Will light up the hall for the King's Armee. 

King of Spades: 
Comrades and fellow-kings, 
Ere we embark upon this enterprise 
Ye all should know 
The nature of our adversary. 

King of Clubs: 
He is no common foe — 
Forth from his eyes 
Flames issue, 
While a double mask wards every blow. 

King of Diamonds: 
He bears a charmed life. 
When once we've forced him from his 

buttressed walls 
In single combat must the fighting end. 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 37 

King of Spades: 
For this are ye prepared? 

King of Hearts: 
Aye! Aye! When duty calls, 
Count ye on us. 

King of Diamonds: 
Me thinks this jaunt 
Doth smack of bold adventure. 

King of Clubs: 
But cautiously! And ere we boast 
Let us first frame our plan; 
Then have we but to choose our captain 
And lead on. 

King of Spades: 
Here, let us pledge a toast — come, 
Every man stand forth and raise his glass! 
[Harlequin passes beakers] 

Harlequin: 
Are ye all filled? 

King of Hearts: 
Aye! Aye! The toast! The toast! 

King of Spades: 
Though crowns and lives be both in jeopardy, 
To Cause and Country pledge we fealty. 

[Four Kings pledge, replace mugs, and draw swords] 

Kings of Hearts: 
To Victory! 



38 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

King of Clubs: 
With honor! 

King of Diamonds: 
To Glory. 

King of Spades: 
Without shame! 

Four Kings (in succession): 
We swear — and we — and we — and we. 

[The Kings and Courtiers take partners for the dance, 
and preparations are hurried for the departure of 
the troops] 

The Wise Man: 
The soldiers are marching over the lea. 

The Piper: 
The pipers a-piping, pipe for me. 

The Wise Man: 
The drummers a-drumming — hey, diddle, 
dee! 

The Piper: 
The maidens a-dancing, so gay-gay-lee! 
[Enter Captain Jinks] 

Captain Jinks of the Horse Marines: 
I'm Captain Jinks of the Horse Marines; 
I feed my men on corn and beans; 
I teach the ladies how to dance ; 
I'm a captain in the army. 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 39 

Harlequin: 
The horses are saddled — 
We're off for the fray. 

Chorus: 
We 're the soldiers of the king. 
He has twenty thousand men, 
And he marched them up the hill 
And he marched them down again. 

[The soldiers march away, the music growing fainter 
and fainter in the distance, while the Queens and maidens 
wave good-by and watch them out of sight] 

[Stage is darkened and haystack is erected on 
left side, before Scene 2] 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 41 

ACT II, Scene 2 

Synopsis: The Queens and their ladies relieve 
their ennui by rustic revels in the dairy yard, the 
"petit Trianon" of Gooseland, where they discover 
Little Bo-peep and Little Boy Blue. After the 
Humpty Dumpty antics they join the shepherdesses 
in a dance, which is cut short with a message that 
the battle will be fought on the morrow. 

Scene — The "Royal Hall," with as many barn- 
yard trappings as possible. 

On the stage are Little Bo-peep, rousing slowly, 
and Little Boy Blue, fast asleep. 

Little Bo-peep: 

The songs of birds awake me from my sleep — 

What! Is it day? Then I must mind my 
sheep. 
Little Boy Blue (talking in his sleep): 

I dream of soldiers marching off to war — 

I hear the drums and bugles from afar! 
Bo-peep: 

Little Boy Blue! come, blow your horn. 

The children we've sought since early morn. 

The Giant has them in his dungeon to keep, 

While you're under the haystack fast asleep. 
Boy Blue: 

Oh, Little Bo-peep, pray, why do you weep? 

Was there nobody there to mind them? 

Just leave them alone and they will come home 

Or else I'll help you find them. 



42 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

[Enter Harlequin] 
Harlequin: 

Why this delay? What's happening? 

Where is the king? Where is the queen? 
Bo-peep: 

The king is in his counting house 

Counting out his money. 
Boy Blue: 

The queen is in the pantry 

Eating bread and honey. 
Bo-peep: 

The maids are in the garden 

Sighing for their beaux. 
Harlequin: 

And where everybody else is, nobody knows. 
Bo-peep: 

When the cat 's away, the mice will play. 
Boy Blue: 

Then I'll be king just for a day. 
Bo-peep: 

If for your royal favor I must sue, 

Perhaps a game of hide and seek will do. 

Game of Hide and Seek 
[Enter the Four Queens] 

Queen of Hearts: 
Alack the day 

When all the Kings of Gooseland march 
away. 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 43 

Queen of Spades: 
We yawn meanwhile 

And plan how best the dragging hours we 
may beguile. 

Queen of Diamonds: 
Let us forget our state 
And in this rustic vale the news await. 

Queen of Clubs (discovering Bo-peep): 
What beauty! 
She could grace a court or throne. 

Queen of Hearts: 
Her creamy cheeks 
I'd relish for mine own. 

Queen of Spades: 
But soft! She'll hear! 
Your boldness makes her blush. 

Harlequin: 

Four Queens! A royal flush! 
Bo-peep: 

What would ye wish? Why are ye here? 
Queen of Diamonds: 

What 's your position in this place, my dear? 
Bo-peep: 

In this domain I'm queen; 

My lambs and sheep the snowiest ever seen. 

Forget the war while here you're tarrying, 

And with my maidens play at dairying. 



44 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

[Dairy Maids run on stage one by one] 

Bessie Bell: 
I 've made a roll of butter. 
I've made a jar of cheese. 

Mary Grey: 
And I have made the pans and pails 
All shiny, if you please. 

Dollie Dimple: 
And I have kept the dairy. 
And I have churned the milk. 

Jane O'Day: 
Cashy cow, bonnie cow, gave me a gown of 
silk. 

[Enter the Courtiers of Old King Cole] 

Chancellor: 

I'm the keeper of the seal. 
Secretary: 

I 'm the maker of the scroll. 
Lord of High Finance: 

I'm the Lord of High Finance 

In the Treasury. 
Chancellor: 

I'm the august chancellor, 

And I check the ex-checker. 
Admiral: 

While I dispense the favors 

Of the ad-mi-ral-i-ty. 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 45 

[Enter Bonnie Prince Charlie and Pretty Maid] 
Bonnie Prince Charlie: 

"But where are you going, my pretty maid? " 
Pretty Maid: 

"I'm going a milking, sir," she said. 
Chorus: 

"Sir," she said, "Sir," she said; 

"I'm going a milking, 
Sir," she said. 
Bonnie Prince Charlie: 

"May I go with you, pretty maid?" 
Pretty Maid: 

"You may if you wish to, sir," she said. 
Chorus: 

"Sir," she said, etc. 
Bonnie Prince Charlie: 

"What is your fortune, my pretty maid?" 
Pretty Maid: 

"My face is my fortune, sir," she said. 
Chorus: 

"Sir," she said, etc. 
Bonnie Prince Charlie: 

"Then I cannot marry you, my pretty maid." 

Pretty Maid: 

"Nobody asked you to, sir," she said. 

Chorus: 
"Sir," she said, etc. 



46 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

"Four and Twenty Blackbirds" 
Sing a song of sixpence, 
Pocket full of rye, 
Four and twenty blackbirds 
Baked in a pie. 
When the pie was opened 
The birds began to sing, 
Was n't that a dainty dish 
To set before the queen? 

"Humpty Dumpty's Antics" 
Humpty Dumpty sat contented 
On the garden wall, 
Humpty Dumpty sat contented 
Till he had a fall. 
Then the king and all his minions 
Could n't mend poor Humpty's pinions, 
Oh! Oh! Oh— 
Humpty Dumpty Ump. 

Dance of the Dairy Maids 

Interrupted suddenly by message from field of war 
Harlequin: 

Stop all mirth! 

A messenger on horseback comes in haste. 
Herald: 

I bring you greetings from the field of war : 

Our men are strongly placed; 

Tonight they rest. At break of day 

The sunrise guns will call them to the fray! 
Chorus: 

Hoo-ray ! Hoo-ray ! Hoo-ray ! 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 47 

ACT III 

Synopsis: King Cole enters the throne room to 
hold a session of court, but Mother Goose declares 
the throne of Gooseland empty until the children 
are restored. From the lookout of the castle, Jack 
and Columbine report the progress of the battle, 
which ends with the capture of the Giant. He is 
brought, bound, to the throne room, still clutching 
the key of the dungeon in his hand. Here his fate 
is to be determined, but the sweet music of the Fiddlers 
Three melts his hard heart, and he surrenders the 
key. Then are the Fiddlers Three made knights of 
the kingdom of Gooseland and Mistress Mary comes 
to share the throne with Old King Cole, while the 
Four Kings and brave Captain Jinks dance at the 
wedding. 

On stage, Mother Goose, Marjorie Daw, and 
Mistress Mary. Soldiers stand in file from throne on 
R.; dungeon door on L. 

Scene : Throne room of Gooseland. 

[Enter Herald followed by Harlequin] 

Herald: 
Hear ye ! Hear ye ! 
Hear ye! And make way! 
The king holds court today ! 
From far and near his faithful vassals come ! 
Play the fife and beat the drum! 
Hail to the king. 

[Enter Old King Cole and his Court] 



48 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

Harlequin: 
Old King Cole was a merry old soul. 
A merry old soul was he. 
He called for his pipe, he called for his bowl, 
And he called for his Fiddlers Three. 

Herald: 
And every fiddler could play on his fiddle 
A wondrous melody! 
He could charm the babies asleep in their 

cradles, 
Or the fishes out of the sea. 

Harlequin: 
With a Hey diddle, Hi diddle, 
Hey diddle, Hi diddle, 
Hey diddle, Hi diddle, dee. 

King Cole: 
Of this great land 
I am the king. 
Let joy bells ring. 

Secretary: 
Bring on all of your petitions. 

Admiral: 
Ask for castles or commissions. 

Lord of High Finance: 
. Or promotions in the Army or the big Navee. 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 49 

King Cole: 
For my rule is one of pleasure, 
Laughter is our greatest treasure — 
And good spirits are the measure, 
When I am king ! 

Mother Goose: 
Hold! There is no king — 
The crown awaits a head. 
There are no men to shout, 
No bells to ring, 
For joy is dead. 

King Cole: 
Joy dead! How now? 
My senses you confuse ! 

Mistress Mary: 
Ye do not know — 
Ye have not heard the news? 

Marjorie: 
The children! We lost them! 
We stayed past the hour! 

Mistress Mary: 
The Giant! He has them 
Locked up in his tower! 

Mother Goose: 
The Army! It hastens! 
The kings ! They will fight ! 



50 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

King Cole: 

Gone forever! The children! 

Well — this is a plight. 

[Enter Columbine] 
Columbine: 

Our soldiers are valiant, 

Our armies will win. 
Chancellor: 

They gather for battle — 

List ye to the din. 
Mother Goose: 

They 're shouting — I hear them — 

They 've captured the fort! 
King Cole: 

Bring glasses! The lookout! 

Send scouts to report. 
Columbine: 

Our banners are flying — 

They challenge the foe. 
Chancellor: 

Then forth to the duel 

Some brave knight must go. 
King Cole: 

What ho! Are ye watching? 

What more can ye see? 
Columbine: 

The Captain and the Giant 

Are fighting valiantly. 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 51 

King Cole: 
Look once again, and tell us 
Who loses and who gains. 

Columbine: 

Down ! Down go horse and rider. 

The Giant is in chains. 
[Martial music, and the sound of tramping feet. The 

Four Kings lead on the Giant, bound. He holds 

the key to the dungeon] 

King Cole: 
Whose is the credit of this victory? 

King of Spades: 
The honors are divided equally. 

King of Hearts: 
He fought with magic and still holds the key. 

Mistress Mary: 
The key — I beg — 
If pity ye can feel. 

Giant: 
They've chained my body, but my heart is 
steel. 

King of Clubs: 

What is your verdict? 

Shall he live or die? 
Mistress Mary: 

Loosen his chains — 

The power of music try. 



52 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

King Cole: 
What ho! my fiddlers, 
Play your sweetest air. 

[The Three Fiddlers play softly "Home Sweet Home." 
All are quiet, listening. A marvelous change takes 
place in the Giant. He slowly removes his mask, his 
face softens, his short dagger changes to a flute. Sloivly 
he hands the key of the dungeon to Mistress Mary, 
and puts the flute to his lips. Mistress Mary glides 
softly to the dungeon door, opens it, and the children 
steal noiselessly out, happy and smiling, and sur- 
round Mother Goose, drawing the erstwhile Witch 
with them to her] 

Little Miss Muffet: 
She is n't a witch any more, you know; 
'T was just our forgetting made her so. 

King Cole: 
Bravo, my Fiddlers Three! 
Ask what ye will as a reward from me. 

First Fiddler: 
Grant us, O king, the power to ever sway 
The hearts of men with music. 

King Cole: 
As ye say, 
So shall it be. 
Kneel and be knighted, 
Fiddlers Three. 



THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 53 

Mistress Mary (as she touches each one on the 

forehead with a sword) : 

I dub thee Knight of the Golden Sword ; 

I dub thee Knight of the Hidden Word ; 

I dub thee Knight of the Spanish Main. 
[Turning to the Giant and presenting him with the sword] 

And thee I dub Lord Chamberlain. 

Giant: 
Upon this precious blade I swear 
My dungeon dark shall henceforth be 
The Children's Castle of Delight, 
Where they shall play from morn till night 
And laughter reign eternally. 

Little Miss Muffet: 
Kind sir, we thank you. 
No longer shall we live in one small shoe. 

King of Diamonds: 
Brave men and loyal, 
Are ye satisfied? 

King of Clubs: 
Aye, aye, and more! 
Our cause is justified. 

King of Spades: 
Henceforth we hold ourselves 
Ever in readiness 
To fight for right i 

Or children in distress. 



54 THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE 

King Cole: 

Then merry, merry ring the hells, 

And merry let us be, 

For Mistress Mary with her hells 

Shall share the throne with me. 
Chorus: 

Huzzah! Huzzah for Old King Cole 

And for his Fiddlers Three! 

[The coronation of Old King Cole and Mistress Mary 
concludes with the "Court Quadrille," and Ike curtain 
falls on tableau of all the characters] 



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